The gift of failure: how the best parents learn to let go so their children can succeed

By: Lahey, Jessica
Material type: TextTextPublisher: New York Harper Collins 2015Description: xxvii, 272 p. Includes bibliographical references and indexISBN: 9780062299253Subject(s): Self - Reliance in children | Parental overprotection | Child rearing | Parenting | Failure - Psychology | Early childhood educationDDC classification: 649.7 Summary: The New York Timesbestselling, groundbreaking manifesto on the critical school years when parents must learn to allow their children to experience the disappointment and frustration that occur from life’s inevitable problems so that they can grow up to be successful, resilient, and self-reliant adults Modern parenting is defined by an unprecedented level of overprotectiveness: parents who rush to school at the whim of a phone call to deliver forgotten assignments, who challenge teachers on report card disappointments, mastermind children’s friendships, and interfere on the playing field. As teacher and writer Jessica Lahey explains, even though these parents see themselves as being highly responsive to their children’s well being, they aren’t giving them the chance to experience failure—or the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems. Overparenting has the potential to ruin a child’s confidence and undermine their education, Lahey reminds us. Teachers don’t just teach reading, writing, and arithmetic. They teach responsibility, organization, manners, restraint, and foresight—important life skills children carry with them long after they leave the classroom. Providing a path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most importantly, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children’s failures. Hard-hitting yet warm and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential reading for parents, educators, and psychologists nationwide who want to help children succeed. https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-gift-of-failure-jessica-lahey?variant=32207439953954
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Slot 1789 (2 Floor, East Wing) Non-fiction 649.7 L2G4 (Browse shelf) Available 202318

Table of Contents

Introduction: How I learned to let go
Part I. Failure : A Most Valuable Parenting Tool
Chapter 1. How failure became a dirty word: a brief history of American parenting
Chapter 2. Why parenting for dependence doesn't work: the power of intrinsic motivation
Chapter 3. Less really is more: parenting for autonomy and competence
Chapter 4. Encouragement from the sidelines: the real connection between praise and self-esteem

Part II. Learning From Failure : Teaching Kids to Turn Mistakes into Success
Chapter 5. Household duties: laundry as an opportunity for competence
Chapter 6. Friends: accomplices to failure and the formation of identity
Chapter 7. Sports: losing as an essential childhood experience
Chapter 8. Middle school: prime time for failure
Chapter 9. High school and beyond: toward real independence

Part III. Succeeding at School : Learning from Failure is a Team Effort
Chapter 10. Parent-teacher partnerships: how our fear of failure undermines education
Chapter 11. Homework: how to help without taking over
Chapter 12. Grades: the real value of a low score
Conclusion: What I've learned from letting go
Notes
Bibliography
Index

The New York Timesbestselling, groundbreaking manifesto on the critical school years when parents must learn to allow their children to experience the disappointment and frustration that occur from life’s inevitable problems so that they can grow up to be successful, resilient, and self-reliant adults

Modern parenting is defined by an unprecedented level of overprotectiveness: parents who rush to school at the whim of a phone call to deliver forgotten assignments, who challenge teachers on report card disappointments, mastermind children’s friendships, and interfere on the playing field. As teacher and writer Jessica Lahey explains, even though these parents see themselves as being highly responsive to their children’s well being, they aren’t giving them the chance to experience failure—or the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems.

Overparenting has the potential to ruin a child’s confidence and undermine their education, Lahey reminds us. Teachers don’t just teach reading, writing, and arithmetic. They teach responsibility, organization, manners, restraint, and foresight—important life skills children carry with them long after they leave the classroom.

Providing a path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most importantly, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children’s failures. Hard-hitting yet warm and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential reading for parents, educators, and psychologists nationwide who want to help children succeed.

https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-gift-of-failure-jessica-lahey?variant=32207439953954

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